Pandora

Anyone fancy writing a quote for David van Day's autobiography?

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 15:59:00 GMT

To be fair to them, they may be expecting a rough ride from critics who may not be naturally warm to the man, but publishers of David van Day's autobiography are emailing randomly (it's a long time since I reviewed a book) asking anyone they might reasonably claim to be from, say, The Independent if they would write a quote for the back cover. Once someone has agreed, then they'll send whatever chapters Mr van Day has so far penned. Say its great, and then we'll send you a couple of chapters

We are publishing David Van Day’s autobiography – and wondered if you would write a short comment on the book (to be printed on the cover), something short would be great. If you are willing to do this, please let me know and I will send you over the chapters we have so far…

Suggestions welcome as to how I should reply.

The day our intrepid reporter grappled with Jordan's beau

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 08:35:31 GMT

As Jordan gets her quickie divorce from Peter Andre, our fearless reporter Guy Adams has suddenly remembered the night he got up close and physical with her current squeeze Alex Reid. Prose straight from a James Ellroy novel:

[he] takes hold of my face, and grinds it into the floor. His knee pummels my kidney, and a forearm the size of Popeye's slips round my neck and begins to squeeze...

Read on, if you dare

What is Nick Hornby hearing and reading?

Fri, 28 Aug 2009 13:37:45 GMT

Continuing the short series of interviews with Nick Hornby is this one, where explains what he's listening to and what he's reading.

Nick Hornby: love and Juliet, naked

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 11:54:53 GMT

The second in a short series of interviews (first one here) with Nick Hornby on his new book - Juliet, naked. This time, it's all about love and relationships and how those experiences impacted on his new novel.

Nick Hornby: me and Juliet, naked

Mon, 24 Aug 2009 17:01:00 GMT

Nick Hornby's new book is out next week, and the publicity machine is up and running, but there's an interesting series of video interviews running with the author, the first of which is here as he muses on the autobiographical elements of his new novel - Juliet, naked.

An ode to Dolores, by far the best thing about Ronaldo anyway

Thu, 11 Jun 2009 18:52:03 GMT

So Ronaldo's leaving united? Big whoop. As Ian Herbert so eloquently points out, that £80 million will go a long way in Manchester. The real casualty, as far as I'm concerned is his mother.
Let's set aside the fact that she has repeatedly made known her desire to leave the UK, and concentrate on the positives here - for there are many positives, many things that have won Dolores Aveiro a special place in our hearts.
Take, for instance this photo. It pretty much sums up everything that's so great about dear Dolores. First, look what she's wearing. She look ridiculous, yes, But not as ridiculous as Posh, in all her Chanel hotpant-ed glory. Or any of the other designer-labelled twiglets that tend to cluster in the VIP boxes of such events. Dolores looks ridiculous in the same way you or I might look ridiculous if we'd turned out to support our son's game of footy.
Then consider that interview where she bolshily insisted that she chooses all Ronaldo's girlfriends for him - or that one where she insisted he'd only ever dated two women, or that one where...the list goes on.
Dolores, we salute you. You'll be missed.

Blind date with the PM? Maybe not...

Thu, 21 May 2009 15:08:59 GMT

Breaking news courtesy fish4love (no, us neither) following their highly scientific poll of 334 people. Gordon Brown is, apparently, women's "worst blind date" candidate, closely followed by Michael Jackson. Also on the list: Pete Doherty, Jeremy Clarkson an Chris Moyles.
But Gordon, if you're reading, to take it too hard. Apparently Peter Andre is the "third best" blind date candidate. Don't believe me? Take a look for yourself:

"The full list of dream dates and regrettable rendez-vous’ revealed by the fish4love survey are as follows:

The ladies’ top 5 blind dates     The ladies’ 5 worst blind dates

1. George Clooney                             1. Gordon Brown
2. Johnny Depp =                               2. Pete Docherty
=3. Peter Andre                              = 2. Michael Jackson
=3. Brad Pitt                                        4. Chris Moyles
5. David Beckham                              5. Jeremy Clarkson

The gents’ top 5 blind dates       The gents’ 5 worst blind dates

1. Jessica Alba                                   1. Amy Winehouse
2. Angelina Jolie =                            2. Katie Price/Jordan
3. Penelope Cruz                             = 2. Jodie Marsh
4. Jennifer Ellison                             4. Britney Spears
5. Cameron Diaz                              5. Dot Cotton"

Patrick Swayze – Twittered to death

Wed, 20 May 2009 08:50:52 GMT

It must be true because it’s all over Twitter – Patrick Swayze is dead.

Actually, he’s not – his publicist has confirmed the actor is still alive after the rumour got out of hand as gossip-monger tweeted the bad news to each other furiously.

"This is to confirm that Patrick Swayze did not pass away (on Tuesday) morning contrary to severely reckless reports stemming from a radio station in Jacksonville, Florida,"

"Patrick Swayze is alive, well and is enjoying his life and he continues to respond to treatment."

In fact, Gawker is now claiming that the radio station in question is denying any reports came from them – and the blame is being put firmly on the twitterers.

Its not the first time that the hothouse of Twitter has produced empty vessels – last week a one year old story that the California Supreme Court had overturned a gay marriage ban produced a new wave of needless rejoicing,

And the week before rumours of an Amazon plot against gay book sales provoked pointless outrage.

Perhaps its no big deal – these things right themselves eventually and Twitter will fade from our list of must-use social media, but damage to reputations and feelings has already been done.

But journalists and editors may feel heartened – user generated news theories may need a little refining after all.

Sith sense of humour for UKIP

Wed, 13 May 2009 12:41:17 GMT

I’m a sucker for rubbish puns, so (and this isn’t a phrase you get to use every day) fair play to UKIP.

The newest recruit to their blazered ranks is Dave Prowse – formerly Darth Vadar (though not the voice, that went to James Earl Jones who didn’t have a West Country burr) and an ex-Green Cross Code man. Do they tell you of his impassioned defence of the pound? Of his loathing for being run by faceless Eurocrats. Or do they just go into pun mode.

Thankfully, the latter:

"I've looked right and left and right again and the only party I can safely vote for is UKIP," says Green Cross Code man, adding that we should ‘stop, look and listen to what is being said’

Pausing only to tell us that perhaps we need to leave the EU or something, Darth Vadar adds: ‘May June the fourth be with you’.

The last one doesn’t quite work, but full marks for trying.

EXCLUSIVE: Eminem in swine flu scare. Sort of.

Tue, 05 May 2009 15:07:56 GMT

OH MY GOD! Clearly, Eminem has swine flu*.

*The lawyers have asked me to point out that this is quite likely to be untrue.

Not part of the Lib Dem brief, then?

Thu, 09 Apr 2009 13:44:24 GMT

There is a new, if somewhat unlikely, poster-boy, for all you tax rebels out there, in the unassuming form of John Leech, Liberal Democrat spokesman for transport. He’s just been forced to take his car off the road after being snapped driving his blue mini cooper with an expired tax disk.

“It’s ultimately my fault but I do feel a bit annoyed,” complains a dejected Leech. “I didn’t receive a reminder and that’s what normally alerts people. I’d like to think people recognise that I’m not just stupid.” Mm.

Surrallen's sobs

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 13:29:56 GMT

One particular detail of Sir Allen Stanford’s tearful interview with ABC strikes Pandora right in the empathy glands: the poor chap has been forced to fly economy. “They make you take your shoes off any everything,” sobs the cricket magnate, who is under suspicion of large-scale fraud. “It’s terrible!” Someone stem the blood rushing from our heart. Please?

Poor people: so next season

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 11:05:46 GMT

Words of wisdom from fashion designer Roberto Cavalli, who is fast becoming the recession's answer to “Krazy” Karl Lagerfeld. “I love poor people!” he exclaims in a suitably fabulous interview with Grazia. “I am glad of the recession. It had to come. It’s good because it makes you think. Maybe now I do something different. Is it enough to make happiness though clothes? Is there something more? I don’t know.”

Sweet, isn’t he?

Guppy gives his interpretation...

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 16:37:01 GMT

The elegantly sordid saga of Dispatches, Darius Guppy and the London Mayor continues apace, with convicted fraudster Guppy defending his (and Boris Johnson's) honour from the distant shores of Cape Town.

The subject at hand is his notorious phone conversation with the young Johnson - then a hack on the Daily Telegraph - in which the pair discuss beating up a fellow journalist. After years of silence, it was broadcast for the first time earlier this week, as part of the Dispatches documentary The Trouble With Boris.

Now Guppy, hitherto conspicuously quiet on the subject, has written a defiant letter to the Telegraph, proclaiming his "pride and honour" in his behaviour.

"I was amused to hear from friends in London of a Channel 4 Dispatches programme," he begins. "Try as Mr Johnson's political opponents may …it boils down to this: we are not talking about a conspiracy on the part of 10 cage-fighting thugs to assault Mother Teresa; we are concerned with an entirely justifiable desire on my part to teach a lesson to a News of the World reporter."

Sadly whether or not Bozza agrees - or indeed, is grateful for his one-time friend's show of 'support' - remains unclear. The Mayor, perhaps wisely, avoided commenting on the subject.

Coldplay, er, push the envelope?

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 13:02:39 GMT

Hilarity amongst Coldplay fans who, on visiting the solemn band’s website, have been met by a lingering April Fool’s joke.

“It's been announced today that Coldplay are to boldly go where no musicians have gone before, by recording in zero gravity,” reads the side-splitting message. “Later this year, the band will board a modified Boeing 727 aircraft, which can provide zero gravity for periods of 20-25 seconds at a time.”

Just a barrel of laughs aren’t they?

Cowell gives Twitter the thumbs down

Thu, 02 Apr 2009 11:59:23 GMT

Sensational news from the World Wide Web, now, as we hear that Simon Cowell is not a fan of Twitter. “What's sad is having to use the language like (one’s) 17,” says Simon, in what may be the most surprising revelation since news that Michael Jackson would not be attending Jade Goody’s funeral. “It's like phoning someone randomly, who's number you don't have, and talking to them." Well, fancy that.
In other news: london transport is experiencing a few hiccups, and RBS having problems with their customer satisfaction.

Pete is left out of the loop

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 14:44:06 GMT

The rumours surrounding Pete Postlethwaite’s next film, the Age of Stupid, appear to have got the better of its star. In a recent interview, the urbane actor claimed that both Barack Obama and Prince Charles have asked to see the film, which depicts life in a post-global warming world. Obama, he added, was planning on screening the film before the senate.

Disappointingly, I’m told that no such requests have been made. “I'm afraid that both of those are rumours that have been getting more and more exaggerated,” says a spokesman for the project. “The reality is that Prince Charles has expressed interest in seeing the film. And, regarding Obama, the Center for American Progress [a pro-Obama think tank] are hosting the US premiere of the film. That's it.”

Perhaps someone should pass the word on?

Emily's turn to pick up the bill

Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:04:24 GMT

It says something for Emily Blunt's pulling power when she manages to drag an ageing smoothy like Bill Nighy out on a wet windy school night.

The debonair actor, pictured, pitched up at the London premiere of Young Victoria on Tuesday night, even though he's not in the film.

"I don't come to other peoples premieres because I always feel a bit of a lemon. But I am here because I adore Emily," he said. "She is not only deeply charming and alluring she is also incredibly gifted. She has everything required, a masterful range, she is obviously glamorous, she is funny as anything and she is a good laugh too. And now she owes me dinner."

Davies Gets Familiar with The Streets

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:05:36 GMT

Alan Davies appears to have struck a frankly surprising relationship with "chav" hip-hop icon Mike Skinner.

Davies, pictured, has been in regular contact with The Streets singer of late via the social messaging website Twitter.

It transpires Skinner is a big fan of the comedian’s TV show Jonathan Creek. On Wednesday, he asked whether any more episodes were going to made after the recent Christmas special, which, he assured him, was "bangin'."

"Hopefully doing a Creek in the summer," replied Davies. "Ta for Watching."

Five minutes later, however, after presumably getting deluged by messages from nerdyCreek fans, Davies was forced to put out a clarification.

"Nothing definite on future Creeks. How can I stop this torrent of questions? As soon as I know for sure I will tweet."

Theo's Girl Bags a Film Role

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:04:11 GMT

Melanie Slade, long-term girlfriend of footballing wunderkind Theo Walcott, has broken with time-honoured WAG tradition by landing herself a job.

The spirited blonde, pictured, is to appear in the upcoming Harry Potter film, Harry Potter And the Deathly Hallows.

""I was in a scene with Hermione watching a Quidditch game and I had a couple of lines to say," she tells Pandora. "I'd love to do more acting.'

The unlikely cameo came about thanks to Walcott's aunt Yvonne, whose partner happens to be the movie’s director David Yates. Handy!

Gossip from the NME Awards

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 13:14:17 GMT

NME held their annual awards ceremony last night and it was as raucous and ramshackle as ever - a welcome relief after the sterility of this year's Brits.

The host was comedian Mark Watson - and you had to feel for him, he was heckled all night by the crowd. It didn't help that we could barely hear him (or any of the speeches) because of the dodgy mic.

After our Franz Ferdinand story today, I was excited to see the boys strut their (Oxfam) stuff on stage.
Disappointingly, they were rather dull playing what appeared to be an album track (or an unreleased single, maybe?). At any rate, people started heading to the bar in droves - until, that is, they turned their whole set around by covering Blondie's Call On Me. They did it brilliantly, bringing some suitably flaxen-locked girl on stage to duet.

I'll bring you more gossip later on, but in the meantime here are some pics from the red carpet & after party.

McIntyre Gives Bankers Some Credit

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:25:25 GMT

What with bankers less popular than traffic wardens, you’d be forgiven for thinking that approval-hungry celebrities would be giving them a wide berth these days.

Apparently not Michael McIntyre, though. The plummy comedian has agreed to host this year’s annual Credit Today Awards at Park Lane’s Grosvenor House Hotel.

The ceremony, which will take place in May, promises to “honour the high achievers within the credit industry.”

All well and good, but some might question the wisdom of hosting a night of corporate back-slapping in the current economic climate. After all, several of last year’s winners have since been forced to apply for hefty bailouts.

Organisers insist, however, that they don’t feel the need to bow to conventions of austerity.

“It will just be business as usual,” a spokesman tells me. “It’s a black tie event after all. It’s a night to celebrate those that have done well. Because of the economic downturn it’s more important than ever to reward those professionals going that extra mile, doing complicated jobs at difficult times.”

Apparently, MacIntyre’s appearance is not without precedent. In the past, the bash has been hosted by such high profile humorists as Lenny Henry, Graham Norton and Jimmy Carr

Kapranos Watches the Pennies

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 18:23:28 GMT

Alex Kapranos, lead singer of Glaswegian mod rock outfit Franz Ferdinand, is doing little to shed his adopted country’s image as a land of mean-spirited tightfists.

"We get [our suits] from charity and vintage stores and get them altered so they actually fit," Kapranos tells this month's Q magazine.

"I've got to say I really lament the passing of the charity shop. I was in Oxfam the other day and I saw an ordinary polyester suit and it was £75.

"There's a recession on - where's the charity?"

Jasmine no longer smelling the Roses

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:06:08 GMT

It seems that relations have cooled between Jasmine Guinness and Marks & Spencer’s boss Sir Stuart Rose.

Just a few weeks ago the cherubic socialite told Pandora that her offer to design and model a range of tights for the department store chain still stood.

"Even if I only got free pants and bras, I think it would still be the best job," she claimed at the time. "It would be great."

Her attitude at Sunday’s Mac Salutes party was, however, rather less enthusiastic.

“I wouldn't want to be the face of a campaign now - I moved on from all that,” she insisted. “I am just concentrating on my toy store now - we are launching on the internet in the next couple of weeks.”

Kate Vows to Keep Her Kit On

Thu, 19 Feb 2009 15:24:19 GMT

Call it an epiphany, call it a shameless charm offensive ahead Sunday's Oscars, but Kate Winslet resolved to never to take her kit off on screen again.

"I think I won't [get naked in a movie] again," she says. "I can't keep getting away with it, and I don't want to become 'that actress who always gets her kit off.' "

Winslet, pictured, who was speaking to this week's Time magazine, will be embarking on quite the career change. According to one in the know, she's appeared starkers in at least ten of her movies.